Romeo and Juliet

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     On Thursday we watched excerpts from the 1996 film Romeo and Juliet. When I look at the film critically, I feel as though Sternberg’s Model of Love would describe the love of Romeo and Juliet as fatuous love. The three factors that the model takes into account are intimacy, passion, and commitment. In order for consummate love to exist, all three factors must come into play. In Romeo and Juliet, I think that there is definitely passion between the two. They also show clear commitment to each other by taking their own lives to be together. However, you do not see a lot of intimacy. The young love birds hardly knew each other long enough to ask the other’s favourite colour, let alone have a truly intimate conversation. All that said, I do not think that the label of fatuous love makes their love any less real. What Romeo and Juliet had was enough for them, and had they spent more time together their love surely would have developed. I think that that is very important to remember when discussing Sternberg’s Model of Love. Even if a couple can be placed on the triangle at one moment, their relationship is constantly changing and fluctuation, and no point on the model is necessarily better than another.

Attractiveness from an Evolutionary Perspective

     A continued discussion in class of attraction brought up some interesting points in yesterday's lesson. We talked about attractiveness from an evolutionary perspective and I found it very intriguing. I definitely agree that many features that we find attractive in others may very well stem from early necessities in a mate. Even though strength no longer ensures success in our society, it is still considered to be very attractive in a male. Yet at the same time, I think that attractiveness has developed with the times. Men who are intelligent and/or tech savvy are considered attractive for their ‘provider potential’. I also think that with the evolution of feminism, it has become increasingly attractive for males to take on certain roles that were previously primarily feminine, as well as for females to take on roles that were previously primarily masculine.

Attraction

     Attraction is something that is different for everyone. For lack of a better saying, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. One person could be considered perfectly attractive in every way to someone, while another wouldn’t even take a second glance. For most people, physical beauty is very important in a short term partner, mostly because it has to be. Before you get to know someone emotionally, there has to be something else there to attract you to them. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I do not believe that I am someone who takes physical attractiveness very seriously. I have noticed through my past relationships that propinquity and reciprocity seem to be a great factor in who I have relationships with. Of course I can appreciate an attractive person, but rarely does that draw me to them. I should mention, however, just in case my boyfriend is reading over my shoulder, that I was lucky enough to find someone close to me who is extremely physically attractive!

     For a long term relationship, I do not think that physical attractiveness is really enough. There needs to be shared or similar values and goals, as well as an understanding and healthy compromise where your goals and values do not perfectly match.

     The following video is a humorous take on female attractiveness. It describes the stereotypical female ideal for physical attractiveness. I hope the coarse language isn't too much, I thought it was too funny to pass up having on my blog. Enjoy!

Masculinity vs. Femininity

     The class discussion today focussed on masculinity and femininity. We were asked to select some well-known person as representing the ideal of each femininity and masculinity. As a class, we came up with James Bond, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Will Smith as representatives for masculinity. We chose Jennifer Anniston, Michelle Obama, Betty White, and Marilyn Munroe as representatives for femininity. I really liked that Michelle Obama was considered feminine by my classmates because it seems that only recently women have been praised for being poised, intelligent, and in a position of power. This was the idea of Second Wave Feminism, but I feel as though this ideal was really only a view shared by feminists at the time rather than the general population.

     I found this activity slightly difficult, because although I was aware of the idea of ideal femininity and masculinity that was requested of me, my personal ideals do not really exist for either gender. I feel as though gender is a wide spectrum, where a person, male or female, can sit anywhere along. Neither end is ideal and neither end is flawed. Wherever an individual person sits along this spectrum is their own personal ideal, and it isn’t for any other person to judge what is ideal for another.